today’s fighting strength

The week started with an early morning teary outburst.You see,I spent a good deal of my weekend working on this pro bono application for work with a legal charity.I rounded up a semi-final draft of my cover letter for the application at about 9pm last night,then mailed it to my darling friend Maureen(who lives all the way in NYC..but is sort of amazing at these type of things..I swear she gets scholarships and job offers every other day..she’s smart!).

When I woke up at past 5 this morning,Mo had already edited my work and sent it back to me with constructive feedback.So I worked on the final edit and decided to send my application since the deadline was at 9am.

 I opened my law school mailbox and clicked on the ‘attatch file’ button.That was when I noticed that the inernet server had gone a wee bit crazy.O shit. I refreshed a gazillion pages and reconnected the internet several times,but to no avail.

I ran out of my little studio and took the lift to the ground floor.The guys at reception were already on the phone with the engineers,but I wanted to pull a bitch fest anyway(because the internet had been down quite frequently which has been a HUGE inconvenience).I demanded to speak to the manager,who unfortunately would not be at my building for another 30 minutes.

I went back upstairs,called my friend Shirley(who is always so calm about ABSOLUTELY everything) and burst into tears.

I hate the feeling of toiling.Working hard and being disappointed.Sure I have experienced a lot of that,but the worst bit is when you do not even have a standing chance,because not meeting a deadline is just as good as not applying at all.In the legal field especially,meeting deadlines is just as important as the content of your case.It is everything.Besides the internet not working excuse is so silly and the oldest trick in the bag..which is technically a ‘non trick’ nowadays.Ofcourse everything that had gone wrong in my life in the past year flashed before me at that moment and I felt tired.So tired and drained of any kind of fighting strength.I was definitely not going to make an early morning trek(without a shower)to the law school library,which opens quite late,look for an internet cafe in the city(which is non-existent since everyone has computers in their offices..duh!) or drag my chunky laptop all the way home to SJW,with the hope of making it back for my employment law lecture on time.

A few hours later,I decided to climb into bed but half heartedly gave the internet connection one last shot.8.40 am and 20 minutes before the deadline,the internet started working.phew.


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